Unbreakable
by Andromakhe
Summary: Wish fulfillment and a lot of fluff. After the Melida/Daan incident, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan rebuild a bond and find it has ideas of its own. The fic is not meant as slash, but it's definitely slashy.
1. Plans

Disclaimer: Characters and situations property of LucasFilm, Jude Watson, etc. No monetary gain and no intent to steal.

Spoilers for the Jedi Apprentice series up to _The Day of Reckoning._

A/N: This fic was inspired by Archaeologist's "Of Secrets and Padawans" and Athena Leigh's "My Weakness, My Strength."

Obi-Wan stirred on his sleep couch and stretched languidly, then yawned and rubbed his eyes. Qui-Gon had said that the next few days could be used for recuperation and socialization. Obi-Wan did wonder how his friends were faring. They'd finally returned from some easy assignments and it was promised they would have at least a week at the Temple. Obi-Wan suspected that the Council thought Qui-Gon should have something to do after the business with Xanatos, but nothing too strenuous emotionally. Just something to focus on to help him to manage whatever pain he might feel but also prevent it from overwhelming him. Obi-Wan knew that Qui-Gon did not hate Xanatos, but he felt Qui-Gon's familiar distance as he was sometimes swept up by brooding memories. He was not certain what to do. By this point, he knew Qui-Gon well enough to feel comfortable offering help. He also knew that if Qui-Gon wished for solitude, he would say so gently. He wondered about his friends, but he found that right at this moment, he cared more about Qui-Gon. He decided he would see if Qui-Gon needed him today and then figure out what to do. He sat up and glanced at his chrono. It was later than he usually got up, but not obscenely so.

_Hello, Padawan. Rest well?_

Obi-Wan smiled at the caring in the tone. _Yes, Master. Thank you. I really needed it. And you?_

_I did. _The tone was somber.

Obi-Wan frowned uneasily. _Are...Are you all right? If you need to talk..._He trailed off awkwardly.

_I...I don't really know what to say. _Now, his voice was definitely sad.

Obi-Wan nodded decisively and splashed water on his face, now fully awake. He wandered in search of his Master until he remembered that through their bond, he had discerned his Master was in his room. He stopped in the doorway and glanced at Qui-Gon, who was sprawled on his stomach on his couch. This must be bad indeed. Obi-Wan couldn't remember a time when he was actually up before his Master. He took a few steps inside, then hesitated, but Qui-Gon nodded, so he strode the rest of the way to Qui-Gon's couch and sat on the floor beside it, reaching out a hand to lay a brief touch to the back of one of Qui-Gon's hands.

Qui-Gon turned and smiled sadly, then propped himself on his elbows and rested his cheek against one hand, shifting to keep his apprentice in view. Obi-Wan noted that Qui-Gon had comfortable clothes, but not sleepwear, which meant he'd been up previously. Qui-Gon lifted a hand and covered a big yawn, but remained propped on his elbows.

"Still tired?" Obi-Wan asked gently. "I can go."

"Hmmm?" Qui-Gon murmured, slightly confused. "Oh. No, no. It's...um...comfortable here. I've been awake a while."

Obi-Wan nodded. "That's right. You greeted me when I woke."

Qui-Gon smiled again, this time kindly. "It's not often I get to sleep in."

"Ah. So you're the one who wanted the recuperation?" Obi-Wan teased.

Qui-Gon chuckled softly. "I'm old, you know. I'm entitled to want recuperation."

Obi-Wan laughed. "I wouldn't call you old. You still move with grace and power. I love to watch and learn, see you flow through your own maintenance routines with a lightsaber. It can be amazing to do the same things in tandem, but I haven't learned them all, unfortunately, so I can't move with you all the way."

"You will. I'll do my very best to make certain of it."

Obi-Wan knew it was a promise. "Would you like tea? Fruit? Maybe something more substantial, like a sandwich?"

Qui-Gon laughed. "Hungry again, are you?"

Obi-Wan flushed. "Master, that isn't fair. It's been a while since dinner." He couldn't hide the laughter in his voice, though.

Qui-Gon flashed a rare grin. "All of that sounds good, actually." He got to his feet and stretched. "I'll see you in the common room."

Obi-Wan jumped to his feet happily and followed Qui-Gon out, heading toward the kitchen and getting their meal together. They ate in companionable silence and Qui-Gon cleared up. Obi-Wan went over to the couch and dropped onto it, reclining against some pillows contentedly.

"So, any plans for your down time?" asked Qui-Gon, leaning back in an armchair facing his apprentice, his feet propped on a low table between them.

"Well..." Obi-Wan hesitated. "It depends."

"Oh?" Qui-Gon raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Yeah. Do you have plans?"

Qui-Gon looked amused. "Well, Tahl's not here at the moment. I would go annoy Mace, but I think Council is meeting today. Though I think it's not over anything really troubling, so I imagine he'll be free after lunch, or during. I was thinking to eat in the cafeteria, and I could arrange to meet him there. So no plans until then, at least."

Obi-Wan nodded thoughtfully. "I wondered about Bant. I think Garen and Reeft aren't here. Maybe I could meet up with her when you're catching up with Mace."

"I don't see why not."

"It feels kind of odd, you know. Not training, I mean. I don't really know what to do with the time. But you said I should take time off, so I would feel bad training." Obi-Wan laughed. "This is pathetic."

Qui-Gon chuckled. "It was a recommendation, not a precise command. If you want to train, I mean really want to as opposed to just doing it to fill time, then do it. If it will bring you joy, then make yourself happy." He smiled. "I'm presuming you are referring to lightsaber training?"

"Um...Yes and no. Yes that lightsaber training brings me joy like few other things do. But no, I meant both the physical and mental aspects of the training. I enjoy meditation, too, as well as training in actual Force abilities. Though I will admit that I would like to take time off studying and homework."

Qui-Gon laughed appreciatively. "I do not blame you. Sitting for hours in front of a datapad is not my idea of fun on a day off, either."

"But in order to train, to learn something, I need you. And if we're not strictly working today, I can't impose."

"Don't be ridiculous. You can learn perfectly well without me. Or else how did you manage before you met me?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "That's not what I meant."

"As for training, you don't need me to go through standard exercises."

"No, but I don't think that's real training. It's more like maintenance of skills I already have."

Qui-Gon nodded. "That is a fair point." His tone was quiet, melancholy again. Obi-Wan ducked his head. He'd said something wrong, ruined their happiness. Qui-Gon sighed and was silent a long while. Obi-Wan knew he must be thinking of Xanatos. Finally, he refocused on Obi-Wan. "It is a joy to train you, but...I don't have the heart to do so today."

"I'm sorry, Master. I shouldn't have said anything."

Qui-Gon felt the boy's disappointment and sorrow keenly and hated himself, but he'd never lied to his Padawan before and wasn't going to start now. At any rate, he didn't deserve to be trained by someone who didn't want to give it their best. The truth was, he always did when they worked together and was careful not to tire the boy dangerously and to ensure his safety, while still pushing him hard enough to make it difficult. A challenge, but an attainable challenge for the boy's age and skill level - that was always his aim. Sometimes, he miscalculated, and had to tell the boy an exercise was too hard after all. Kenobi would be devastated and somehow feel he'd let him down. But such errors were few and far between, and usually, it was mutually satisfying when Obi-Wan learned a new lightsaber variation or honed a Force ability to Qui-Gon's high standard. He made sure his boy knew he'd done him proud, with glances and touches and their training bond, and it would make the boy's entire day. They were working on something now that the boy was very close to mastering. Perhaps he wanted to try, but until Qui-Gon was satisfied Obi-Wan could do something correctly, he didn't allow him to work on Force or lightsaber techniques without his supervision at least. Which is why they were in this situation. It was to ensure Kenobi's safety, of course, and Obi-Wan understood this, but he regretted it in this instance. He contemplated offering to be available while Obi-Wan worked on the exercise, but that was only a half-hearted solution. No, Obi-Wan deserved his full attention, even if it was just supervision. He glanced at Obi-Wan, whose eyes were darting toward his room, and realized he hadn't responded to the boy and Obi-Wan desperately wanted to get away but had not been dismissed. "Wait, Padawan."

Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon apprehensively.

Qui-Gon sighed. "It's not what you're probably thinking. I'm certain you don't believe what I just said, but would never outright accuse me of lying."

If possible, Obi-Wan's fear ratcheted up a notch.

Qui-Gon kicked himself mentally. He got up and sat beside Obi-Wan, pulling the boy against his chest. He sent gentle comfort down their bond and touched Obi-Wan's cheek tenderly. "I-I'm sorry, Padawan. I shouldn't have been so blunt. Listen...I need to...need to be around nature. I need a change of scenery. I'm out of sorts and when I'm this socially inept, it's probably not a good sign. Please come with me. I need to talk to you."

Obi-Wan reveled in the contact and was soothed. He turned and looked up at his Master. "Of course, Master. When you're in pain, so am I."

"Are you willing to take a hike in the mountains? I know a cave with beautiful stones, and a cool stream where we could have a picnic. Getting to the place is not easy, but it's also not terribly difficult for well-trained Jedi. The climb is steep, but the path is pretty flat. We do have to climb to the cave, but that, too, is not overly treacherous. Could always just use our cable launchers."

"So I get to exercise after all? Count me in." Obi-Wan grinned excitedly. "But what about your lunch plans?"

"They can wait until tomorrow if necessary. Who knows? Those might become breakfast plans."

"Ooooh. Maybe I should bring something to read. I know how I should dress. I'll go pack."

Qui-Gon nodded as they both prepared for their excursion.


	2. Conversations

The airtaxi dropped Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan off at the entrance to the mountain trail. Obi-Wan noted some tourists had the same idea as they did and were moving along ahead of them.

"It starts off easily enough, but eventually, we'll outstrip them," Qui-Gon noted quietly.

Obi-Wan nodded. He was used to this being the case with many civilians.

A boy looked back over his shoulder curiously, noting Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's robes. He tugged on his mother's arm. "Jedi," he said excitedly.

His mother glanced back, then nodded to her son. "Leave them alone. They are either busy training or, if they are on leave, they probably don't need questions."

The boy looked sad, but was resolved to obey his mother, until Qui-Gon touched his shoulder and knelt to his level. "Hello, young one."

The boy gasped in surprise, then grinned. "Hello," he said shyly.

Qui-Gon smiled gently. "I'm Qui-Gon. The other Jedi is my apprentice, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan knelt beside Qui-Gon and nodded to the boy, extending a hand and offering a slight smile.

The boy grinned back and shook Obi-Wan's hand. "It's great to meet both of you. I'm Cyran, and this is my mom."

The Jedi got up and looked at her, nodding politely.

"Hello. It's good of you to talk to him. He's curious about how lightsabers work, and he'd like to be a Jedi, but I don't think he's Force-sensitive."

Qui-Gon frowned. "The Force is a part of all we do. Even more than a lightsaber, if I'm being honest. Lightsabers are associated with Knights, but there are also healers, pilots, engineers, system administrators, all manner of jobs a Jedi can be trained for. But the Force runs through them all. It makes every job just a bit easier. Jedi is a way of life, a worldview, so technically, a Force-blind could be a Jedi, but there are none at the Temple and in terms of training, I think it would not go well for someone without the Force."

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan sent out an unobtrusive and gentle Force probe toward both the mother and the child. Qui-Gon felt it, but they did not seem to. Obi-Wan shook his head and frowned grimly.

Cyran's mother nodded. "I didn't think he was sensitive. I've heard tell that Force-sensitives can do supernatural things like moving objects without touching them. That has never happened with him."

Obi-Wan murmured quietly, "I think a Force-blind could do some jobs equally well, or at least, they wouldn't be at a serious disadvantage. The Force makes everything easier, but it's not necessarily essential. However, for something like Knighthood or healing or piloting or anything that is potentially life-threatening, not having access to the Force could be fatal. Not to say that there aren't plenty of soldiers, healers, etc who are not sensitive, but..." He glanced at Qui-Gon uncertainly.

Qui-Gon nodded. "It is not in the Jedi tradition to train those without the Force. Obi-Wan is correct that the Force is not essential in a technical sense, and neither does it guarantee life, but there are certain aspects of Jedi training, such as lightsaber construction, that actually do require it. The lightsaber is a Jedi weapon across the board. Knights merely get extra training with it."

Obi-Wan looked at Cyran and knelt in front of him. "I...I'm sorry, little one. We cannot help how we're born. And I cannot give you Force sensitivity. I know what it is to have to surrender a dream. I don't know if this will help you, but I think if you were trained a Jedi surrounded by Force-sensitives, no one would understand you, and you would always be just a little slower, just a little less capable. Those without the Force are not slow, but compared to a Force user...It just can't be done. To be honest, I myself don't really feel comfortable around people other than Jedi because I don't think Force-blinds can really understand me."

Cyran looked at Obi-Wan sadly. "We Force-blinds really are the majority, aren't we? I hadn't thought of that. I didn't really expect to be able to be trained, but a small part still hoped. I thought maybe you felt better than the rest of us because of your good fortune, but you're really compassionate. You actually seem guilty or sad that you can't help me."

"I am both, really," Obi-Wan murmured. "I'm a Jedi. I'm supposed to help people. But this is out of my hands."

"I'm disappointed I can't be a Jedi if all of them are as nice as you and Qui-Gon," Cyran murmured. "Maybe this won't help you, but even knowing it saddens you that you can do nothing for me helps me."

Obi-Wan chuckled. "The thought that counts, eh?" He reached out an patted Cyran's shoulder, then rose to flank Qui-Gon as a Padawan should.

"As to how lightsabers work, it's all rather technical," Qui-Gon murmured. "Obi-Wan would know better how everything relates together. Mechanics aren't really my strong suit."

"Are there archives in the public libraries about it? If not, I could maybe request permission to send the standard schematics of a lightsaber to you somehow. I don't have them on me and cannot really take mine apart at this moment. You need tools to do so and it's really not a good time." He glanced around meaningfully.

The boy's mother spoke up. "If Cyran is still curious about it, maybe we can stop by the Temple and request the information ourselves? Or if you two are not busy, could we ask to talk to you there?"

Qui-Gon glanced at Obi-Wan, who quirked a half-smile. "That would be fine."

"Thank you for your time. And thank you, young Jedi, for comforting my boy. Master Jedi, you should be proud of that one." She nodded to Obi-Wan and smiled.

Qui-Gon bowed respectfully. "Believe me, I am."

Obi-Wan bowed as well. Cyran waved and they walked away.

Qui-Gon drew Obi-Wan up beside him and smiled down at him. "Well done, Padawan," he murmured quietly.

Obi-Wan smiled somewhat sadly. "The poor boy. I was always grateful to have the Force, of course, but it doesn't seem fair that someone who would obviously have made such a good Jedi can't just because he wasn't born with a gift."

"Unfortunately, even at my age, I have not discovered why things like this happen. But by the same token, people can have strokes of amazing luck, so go figure."

They walked in silence until they reached a fork in the trail. The group with them went left; Qui-Gon went right. Obi-Wan was pulled from his reverie and was watching for clues to remember the way should he ever wish to visit wherever Qui-Gon was taking them again. Obi-Wan felt a change in the air. Or was it the Force? He heard birds and felt the serenity he only felt at the Temple. But looking around didn't yield any clues except that the trail they were on was becoming less defined, and the incline they were on became sharper. Qui-Gon stepped off the trail and stopped, and Obi-Wan stopped beside him. "Padawan, what do you sense in the Force?"

"Serenity," Obi-Wan answered automatically.

Qui-Gon laughed gently. "That is what **you **feel, not what you feel in the Force."

"It is? Oh!" Obi-Wan flushed.

Qui-Gon chuckled affectionately and tugged on Obi-Wan's braid lightly.

Obi-Wan giggled, then closed his eyes and reached out with magnified senses. He heard a stream off to his right that he could not yet hear naturally. His head turned that way and he tried to pick out the safest way to get there. He contemplated swinging from tree branches, but wasn't sure if that was really safe. He could sense animals moving around and hear the beating of wings. He felt a cliff side near the stream that must be where the pretty cave was. He sensed boulders big enough to sit on, and logs as well. He opened his eyes. "I hear the stream, Master! And birds flying. And leaves rustling as creatures move. I see there are trees that block a direct route to the stream. They are close enough together to swing on them, but that's unnecessarily risky behavior. Perhaps we could walk around to the cliff near there and somehow get down. We do have safety equipment for rock climbing." He closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath of the fragrant air and trying to test the terrain with the Force. "It's as you said. It's not a walk in the park, but I think I can manage it, though I'll probably be tired at the top."

"Then perhaps it is best that you lead. This way, you can set the pace."

Obi-Wan glanced at Qui-Gon shrewdly, wondering how it was that Qui-Gon managed to train him when they weren't supposed to be training. "Master, you trickster!" Obi-Wan laughed merrily.

Qui-Gon shook his head. "I didn't plan this, I swear." His tone was teasing.

"Yeah, right. Whatever you say." Obi-Wan's tone was skeptical, but not begrudging. He stepped past Qui-Gon, but turned and embraced him quickly before picking his way toward the path he'd chosen.

Qui-Gon smiled to himself. "You really are a joy to train, Padawan," he called after Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan didn't reply. He was busy navigating. Up they climbed, and took a meandering route to the flattest areas possible. Sure, it was less efficient, but he wasn't built like Qui-Gon and didn't have as much confidence in his abilities to leap high enough or balance long enough. But Qui-Gon didn't complain or criticize, and when Obi-Wan touched their bond, he found patience and pride. At last, they were nearly at the cliff with the cave. They had only to climb the rock or perhaps Force jump to get to it. Obi-Wan hesitated, looking up at the ledge he was supposed to somehow leap to. For Qui-Gon, it would be an easy thing, but what if he wanted to get here without him? Was he allowed to use the Force for this exercise? Were there outcroppings to hook his cable launcher around? The ledge looked stable and was not dangerously narrow, but it wasn't exactly a big target either. He didn't really want to risk Force jumping and missing. He turned back toward his Master. "Why don't you go ahead? This isn't a problem for you and you shouldn't have to wait for me."

"I...would feel better if I saw you safely up there first," Qui-Gon replied gently.

Obi-Wan understood. He examined the rock face and found a spot for his launcher. He eyed it carefully and threw the hook, but it missed. Obi-Wan growled in frustration and tried again. It almost worked, but was just a little short. He glared at the offending target and contemplated using a little Force strength. He looked back at Qui-Gon. "Can I use the Force?"

"If you wish."

Obi-Wan nodded resolutely and Qui-Gon felt the Force ripple as Obi-Wan threw a third time, this time succeeding. Obi-Wan tested the cable and found the hook held, so he looked at Qui-Gon and jumped, soaring to the ledge and backing up just inside the cave. He felt a surge of satisfaction from Qui-Gon as he Force jumped to the cave and joined his apprentice.

"I knew you could manage it, my young Padawan," Qui-Gon smiled. The boy smiled tiredly. Qui-Gon felt a surge of tenderness fill his heart. "I wanted to go a bit further inside, but if you'd rather rest awhile, we can do that as well."

"How far in?"

"Not far, and it's flat."

"I can rest when we get there, then." Obi-Wan swept the cave with the Force and stepped inside, letting Qui-Gon take the lead again. They made their way around columns of rock, with stone walls that were nondescript. At length, there was a cavern ahead that glinted intriguingly. They stepped inside and Obi-Wan looked around, amazed. "Wow. Crystals! But I'll bet none of them are like this." And he pulled Qui-Gon's stone from his pocket. "I carry it always."

Qui-Gon touched Obi-Wan's shoulder. "You're no ordinary Padawan, either." He set down his pack and rummaged inside. He pulled a quilt from it and spread it on the ground. Obi-Wan sprawled onto it gratefully, replacing the stone in his pocket and looking around at the beauty of the cavern. No, the bright rocks were not as precious as Qui-Gon's gift, but it was still pleasing to be out of the sun and spending time in a nice place. Qui-Gon watched him unobtrusively, leaning back against a cool wall.

"How did you find this place, Master?" Obi-Wan murmured sleepily.

"I went exploring. I've always liked the wilds, you know, and this being one of the only places on Coruscant, I had to visit. I was a new Knight at the time and had a bit more freedom to do what I wanted."

"Mmmm." Obi-Wan murmured. "I find I don't have an overpowering desire to get more freedom just now. I don't really feel trapped."

"I believe as you get older, you will want more. That is as it should be, but I admit I will be a little sad when the day comes."

"Why?" Obi-Wan asked innocently.

"I suppose I will have to treat you differently, think of you differently. I will lose who you are now."

"Will I start becoming a pain to train?"

Qui-Gon laughed genuinely. "I highly doubt it. But it's..." Qui-Gon sighed heavily. "It's when trouble began with Xanatos."

Obi-Wan sat up abruptly. "No. I won't be like him."

"I know you won't, little one," Qui-Gon murmured sorrowfully. "But maybe...maybe it will end the same anyway."

"What?" Obi-Wan glared at him. "How can you tell me you know I won't turn and then say it'll probably end up the same way?"

"No, that's not what I..." Qui-Gon whispered and broke off abruptly, shaking his head forlornly and turning his face away.

Obi-Wan sighed, already mourning the satisfaction he'd felt just a short while ago at getting to the cave. "Master, you need to talk to me," he said gently. "I can't read your mind. Well, unless you let me, but I would never do so without permission. I want very much to help you. You have been slipping in and out of dark thoughts since what happened with Xanatos. But I can't help if I don't know how."

Qui-Gon sighed. "All right. I'm afraid. Afraid I'll lose you, afraid that I'll make the same mistakes I did with Xanatos, or that I already have and one day, you'll just...get tired of me."

"What?" Now Obi-Wan sounded incredulous. "But...But I...You mean so much to me."

Qui-Gon was silent. But Obi-Wan heard a whisper down their bond, _Melida/Daan._

Obi-Wan winced. "I..." he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. "I'm sorry," he choked out, and began to sob.

"This is why I didn't want to say anything," Qui-Gon grumbled, cradling Obi-Wan's head against his chest and stroking his back soothingly.

"No, you're right. It's all my fault!" the boy wailed. His body shuddered with the depth of his grief. "I'm never going to forgive myself. And here I thought I was better than him."

"But you **are **better than him," Qui-Gon soothed.

"It doesn't matter. It's like you said. We both left you."

"Then maybe...Maybe it's a problem with me," Qui-Gon murmured sadly.

The boy pulled out of Qui-Gon's grasp and his head shot up furiously. "No. We decided to abandon you." He wiped almost viciously at his eyes, which had at least stopped crying in his sudden anger.

Qui-Gon found some napkins, which he handed over. "Easy there. Your eyes are important." The boy nodded and dabbed at them gently. "If you had been more assured of your place with me, maybe you would have had more loyalty to me than to a group of people you'd just met."

"Now we will never know," Obi-Wan murmured. "But Cerasi was very special. I don't know exactly why. But she was unusually gentle and sincere. I loved her on sight. I might still have left you; she was that compelling. And I honestly did want to try to help bring peace."

"The cause was a good one," Qui-Gon concurred. Xanatos left me for his father, which was understandable, but he left to join a war. For wealth and power as well. Given his history, I could have even forgiven that. But it was his turning Dark that truly hurt." Qui-Gon's voice broke in anguish. "It makes me wonder how terrible a Master I am that someone should hate me so much that they'd turn just because they knew it would kill me."

Obi-Wan's face crumpled. "Master, that's not true. You're a wonderful Master. Xanatos was just arrogant and spoiled. You can't judge your ability to train apprentices based on him."

"He wasn't...He wasn't so bad as a child. As he grew and wanted more independence, he became more difficult to manage and many Masters approached me to complain or voice concerns that either I wasn't controlling him or he wasn't cut out to be a Knight. But well...I wanted to prove them wrong. Obi-Wan, there have been times in my life that I've met people and just liked or disliked them instinctively. I think you found this with Cerasi. I don't know why it happens, but when it does, they are people you're never going to forget, and they tend to have a lasting impact on your entire life. I'm telling you this because you are another such person I was drawn to without any conscious reasoning."

"You...You liked me? At the duel?"

"Yes." Qui-Gon smiled. "Your talent had me sitting up and taking notice. But it wasn't just your talent. You were...You are...bright in the Force. The Force practically sings that you are going to be amazing."

"You really believe that?" Obi-Wan's voice was small, but hopeful.

"I know it, Padawan. I haven't trained nearly as many as Yoda, but I know quality when I see it." Qui-Gon spoke with certainty and conviction, and Obi-Wan looked at him in awe. "You were born to be a Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I'm only sorry that I almost denied you and the galaxy one of the best because I was afraid."

Obi-Wan scooted beside Qui-Gon and twined an arm around his waist, reaching up to peck him on the cheek shyly. Qui-Gon lowered his head and kissed Obi-Wan's brow lightly. "I won't leave you again," Obi-Wan murmured. "I know I belong with the Jedi, and I liked you on sight, too, I think. But that is hard to say since I did want something from you."

"We bonded on sight. I know this for a fact, because you could call me, and that only works if there is a mutual connection on a very deep level. I think ours is a very special kind of bond, and that is why I am so afraid to lose it. It is a precious, rare thing, and I'm certain if it breaks, it will be my fault."

"It hasn't broken yet."

"But that's only because Tahl convinced me to give it another try. I didn't know if I could trust you enough to train you. Once trust is broken, it is hard to rebuild, and a team without trust is destined for failure. But she persuaded me that our team was just too valuable to give up on."

"Master, I was a wreck without you," Obi-Wan cried brokenly. "The Force deserted me on Melida/Daan. It was like it was angry with me. It wouldn't answer when I called." He whispered the last words in shame.

Qui-Gon looked somewhat embarrassed. "I nearly lost a duel against your former rival. I couldn't think straight. I was angry and hurt and Tahl knew I needed you."

"What?" Obi-Wan choked out in disbelief. "I nearly made you lose to...Oh man...I'm truly sorry."

"No matter. We're here now."

"Master, is...Is there some way we could...Not start over, but..."

"Renew our commitment to each other and the Force?"

Obi-Wan nodded, grinning.

Qui-Gon frowned thoughtfully and touched Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Certainly, but you seem tired at the moment, little one. Perhaps we can sleep a bit first?"

"But I'm not-" He covered a yawn hurriedly. "Um...I guess that's a good idea." He chuckled sheepishly.

"Tired of me already, are you?" Qui-Gon teased.

Obi-Wan gasped and looked afraid. Qui-Gon tugged on his braid and lay down on his side, his head propped on his pack, eyes closing slowly. Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon's example, but lay on his back. "Master?"

"Hmmm?" Qui-Gon murmured.

"Getting old, are you?"

Qui-Gon chuckled. "You're the one who didn't believe me before," he said slowly.

Obi-Wan laughed, and it did Qui-Gon's heart good. "Rest well," the boy said kindly.

"Thank you, and likewise." Qui-Gon kept one part of his mind alert for possible danger and relaxed into sleep.


	3. Bonds

Obi-Wan sat up and blinked, feeling much refreshed from the climb to the cave he was in. He stretched stiff muscles and looked over at his Master, who seemed to still be asleep. He wanted to touch his mind to verify it, but was afraid it would disturb him. He glanced toward the cavern they'd come from, but decided maybe it'd be best not to just leave in case Qui-Gon woke, found Obi-Wan missing, and worried needlessly. Besides, it wasn't smart to go exploring unfamiliar places alone without informing one's Master unless you were a fully trained Knight that could look after himself. Obi-Wan turned onto his stomach and settled in to wait. Inspiration hit and he pulled out the datapad he'd brought to read. But he found his mind wandering to Cerasi, and how she used to call Qui-Gon his "Jedi boss." She had mocked him for his current submissive attitude. But he had been right to be cautious, in the end. If he'd just listened to himself...He sighed.

"Something wrong, Padawan?" queried a low, drowsy voice.

Obi-Wan smiled at his Master. "Not anymore. No need to get up."

"Are you sure? You sounded...troubled."

"No. I mean yes. That is...Cerasi. She used to mock me gently for being so obedient to you. She thought it was a way for you to control me. I tried to tell her it was one way I showed you respect, but she had convinced me that it was a form of slavery. Somewhere inside, I had known she was wrong, but I couldn't figure out why at the time."

"Hmmm. I'm intrigued," came the soft reply. Obi-Wan watched as Qui-Gon shifted slightly and rubbed his eyes.

"No, no. Go back to sleep. It's not important."

"It's all right," Qui-Gon murmured gently. "The rest did me good. You're not depriving me."

"Oh. Okay." The boy smiled shyly.

Qui-Gon wondered at how he'd ended up with such a gentle apprentice. He could only imagine the Force felt sorry for him after Xanatos and gave him an extra good Padawan as compensation. "Have you worked out why it is important to obey me? And I'm asking you personally, not as a Jedi."

The boy inched close to him and took one of his hands. "Because we're a team. Because if I don't listen, I can inadvertently make a situation worse or wreck your plans born of years of experience. Because obedience means trust that you're thinking of my safety and best interests. Because obedience is the way a Padawan shows love." Qui-Gon's eyes filled with tears. "Master?" Obi-Wan looked alarmed.

"Padawan," Qui-Gon whispered, "what did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Master, that depends on whether you are happy or sad."

"Come, my little one." Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan so that he was reclining against his chest. Obi-Wan sighed contentedly and closed his eyes. Obi-Wan considered how he loved being called "little one" by Qui-Gon. He began to understand it meant something more when addressed to him rather than other little ones. "So this conflict about slavery. Perhaps it arose because as a Jedi, Padawans are obligated, honor-bound, to obey. You managed to list both practical and personal reasons that the rule makes sense. From a Master's point of view, I need to be certain you are going to cooperate on missions. Sometimes, it is a split second decision and if you don't listen, lives can be lost. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that if it comes down to yours or mine, I will do my best to ensure it is not yours that is lost. Even if I were not honor-bound to do so."

"No. Don't talk that way," Obi-Wan whispered in fear.

"You know it is a distinct possibility in our line of work to fall in combat. But you're right. No need to dwell on it just now. We have a bond to renew."

Obi-Wan looked up cautiously, and wriggled closer, pressing his ear to Qui-Gon's chest and listening to the regular heartbeat. Qui-Gon tightened his hold on him and lay his cheek against the top of Obi-Wan's head briefly. "It's not slavery if you want to do something. If you choose to. I forgot this. I could not articulate this to Cerasi, but even if I had, she would not have understood. She didn't know you, didn't understand the Jedi, and I was swayed by the idea that maybe I was being compelled because I couldn't define my own reasoning other than it was a Padawan duty to follow orders."

Qui-Gon made a sound of assent but seemed distracted. "I heard you. I'm sorry. I'm thinking how we should renew our commitment. The training bond is really what needs to be fixed. It is not broken, but it is not as strong as it used to be." Qui-Gon sat up and took Obi-Wan's hand, meeting his gaze solemnly. "Padawan, I promise to protect and train you to the best of my ability. I was committed to you before and I still am, will always be. I promise also that I will always love you." This last sentence was a hoarse whisper, but Obi-Wan heard perfectly clearly and squeezed Qui-Gon's hand in affirmation, pulling himself up to sit across from him.

"Master, I promise to never leave your side, not as long as we're together. I promise to learn from you to the best of my ability. And I pledge my undying love and loyalty. I cannot promise to always obey, however. Otherwise I would."

Qui-Gon chuckled but squeezed Obi-Wan's hand in acceptance. "I'm certain you will do so unless the situation is dire. Do you again accept me as your Master?"

Obi-Wan's face lit up. "With all my heart." His eyes shone with so much affection.

Qui-Gon nodded and moved behind Obi-Wan, his fingers poised to undo his braid. He ran his fingers over it and combed through the strands slowly. He caressed Obi-Wan's hair rhythmically. "Focus on the motion of my fingers. Let it relax you. You must trust me so the bond can be strengthened. Remember our promises, our places in the team."

Obi-Wan nodded and shut his eyes. He touched their bond and held it gently in the forefront of his mind, while thinking of their commitment and how his braid symbolized service to his Master, himself, and the Force that brought them together. He felt Qui-Gon's fingers finish combing his hair and beginning to replait it, while simultaneously feeling the bond touched by his mind. Qui-Gon stayed there, waiting, until Obi-Wan's mind touched his. They held this position internally until Qui-Gon finished with the braid and dropped its end over Obi-Wan's shoulder. Obi-Wan touched it and found that a new bead was added to it. He felt pure joy at this discovery. Obi-Wan craned his neck to look back at his Master, who touched his shoulder and murmured, "No" and moved around to face him. "Now it gets interesting, little one. How much do you trust me?"

"Completely," was the boy's drowsy reply.

"Truly? Ideally, I would have to hold you quite close. I could probably do this with some distance, but the bond would not be as...um...solid."

The boy nodded, as though this was obvious. "I'm sure you wouldn't, um, abuse your power, Master," he murmured softly, still sounding very relaxed.

"Would sitting or lying down be more relaxing?"

"I'm already quite relaxed, but...Lying, I think, but it may run the risk that I fall asleep. If you need me to be awake, sitting might be better."

"You're certain you're okay with this?"

"Do you not trust my word?" Now there was a touch of annoyance in the tone.

"I'm sorry, Padawan." Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon's regret instantly down their bond.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, Master. This should be a time of joy." He stretched out on their quilt, his head in Qui-Gon's lap. Qui-Gon looked down at Obi-Wan. _So vulnerable. _Obi-Wan heard the thought, since their minds were still in contact with each other. Qui-Gon lay beside Obi-Wan and pulled him so his back was against his chest, his arms encircling him. Obi-Wan leaned into the contact, and Qui-Gon felt only a sense of safety and fulfillment emanating from him, as though this was exactly what he always wanted and where he always belonged.

_Little one, _came the whispered thought from Qui-Gon.

_I love you, _was Obi-Wan's reply.

"That's it. Keep that feeling. It is the best one for creating and strengthening a training bond. Training bonds, as you know, are part Force created and partly from love or obligation. Some Master-Padawan pairs are merely for the mutual attainment of goals, and that is fine as long as both parties agree to that."

Obi-Wan thought about how glad he was to have Qui-Gon for a Master, how considerate and caring he was, how he loved Qui-Gon's compassion and hoped that when he was a Knight, he'd have even a quarter of it. He thought how he admired Qui-Gon's poise and calm when people were being rude. And he imagined Qui-Gon leaping, lightsaber spinning, the sound of his gentle laughter and soothing voice.

"Obi-Wan...You honor me."

"Good."

Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon's mind enveloping the bond now, rather than just touching it. Obi-Wan's mind was also enveloped, which was somewhat disorienting at first.

"At this point, it's possible to involve our Force signatures. That anchors the bond and makes it very difficult and hazardous to break. But it's risky, should one of us die suddenly. You would know it instantly and it can be traumatic. Psychologically, I mean."

"Master, I think our Force signatures are already involved, if I could summon you on Bandomeer."

"Hmmm. Good point. The idea frightens me a little. That our bond goes that deep. But I do trust you. You need to do what I just did. That will complete the bond and stabilize it, so it is strong both ways."

"I'm not certain how."

"I will see what I can do to help. You must think of the bond not as a comlink, as you're doing now, but something integral to your mind. A part of you, not separate but attached. It occurs to me that we were supposed to do this earlier in our relationship, but perhaps it is for the best we're doing it now. I don't think the necessary trust and affection were there before. Not that we didn't like or trust each other, but there were still...inhibitions. It will be as meaningful as it should be since we're working on it now."

Obi-Wan nodded, and pulled on the bond, but it didn't quite do as it was supposed to. Frowning, he tried to imagine it wrapped in Force energy and began to feel curious currents flowing back and forth. He dropped the bond in alarm.

Qui-Gon stilled abruptly, amazed. "Obi-Wan, we've just gotten confirmation that our Force signatures have anchored this bond. It is now unbreakable. Or rather, consequences will be dire should the bond be broken before one of us actually dies. If you or I are killed or die naturally, the bond will not break. But if it is forcibly severed, it will damage us both. Perhaps permanently. And in these kinds of cases, when one partner dies, the other...They will move on, but it will always hurt them. Their spirit will ever feel the loss until they are reunited in the Force."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened in surprise. "I...did not know Jedi could have attachments. This is no mere attachment. This is something I truly hadn't heard of before. It must be incredibly rare for a Master-Padawan team. Luckily for me, what you said about the consequences to the partner who remains alive is no surprise. Even without the bond, I knew that is what I'd be facing should your dire pronouncements of death in combat come true. But what about the Knighting Ceremony? Don't Jedi usually break training bonds then?"

"That decision is up to the pair in question. A true spiritual or signature bond is just rare, period. Perhaps it has been attained by close family members or lovers, but I have not heard of Master-Padawan teams managing it."

"I guess we have our answer. That counts as forcible detachment while we're both alive."

"Exactly." Qui-Gon nodded.

Obi-Wan looked relieved. "I would have been sorry to lose this." Again, he took up the bond and thought of his mind wrapping around it. He felt the currents pulsing through it. _Like a heartbeat, _he suddenly realized. "This thing is alive!" he exclaimed. "That's why if it's cut, we might never recover. No wonder it frightens you."

"But you are reliable," Qui-Gon murmured gently. "Your feelings about me, about us, will not change."

"Now I feel even worse about Melida/Daan. Not only did I betray you and the Jedi who raised me and that I was supposed to be committed to, but I broke our living bond."

"I am not certain it was living at the time. You could not have left if it had been alive. You would have been compelled to stay by my side if at all possible. Our distraction and dysfunction without each other was probably from our own hearts and not our bond. At any rate, the bond worked this morning, so you didn't break it. If I had not taken you again as Padawan, perhaps then it would have broken."

"Then, it's good we're here now," the boy murmured, as the entire length of the bond was finally enveloped by his mind.

"Well done. Now you must do that with me."

The boy drew back mentally, though kept a firm hold on the bond. "How? That's...It's disrespect."

"Did you feel disrespected when I did it?"

"No. It was a little disconcerting at first, but I grew used to it, and found that I enjoyed it. I felt safe and cared for. But you are my Master. It is your right and your place to touch my mind that way."

"No, it is not. I did so for the sake of the bond, which you had agreed beforehand to help to strengthen. I absorbed your mind, but endeavored not to go rummaging around, though we could not help hearing each other's surface thoughts. You have permission to enter my mind and must do so, or the bond will be imperfect."

"I still feel like it's some kind of violation," Obi-Wan complained sadly.

"Do you not wish me to hear you?"

"No, it's not that. It's unfamiliar. Intimate."

"And yet, you let me hold you like this."

"I love it," Obi-Wan smiled timidly.

"Why don't you try holding me? Maybe the physical action will help your mind to follow."

"I...I don't think I've ever done that. Maybe that's my problem. Okay." He gently disengaged from Qui-Gon's grasp and turned over to face him.

"No, Padawan," came the gentle admonishment. "Behind me. You're to become the protector now."

The boy froze. "You're sure? That requires a lot of trust."

"You watch my back in combat. Don't see how this is any different." Qui-Gon argued reasonably.

The boy moved to press his back to a wall, then gently cradled Qui-Gon's head and shoulders against his chest, stroking his brow with one hand and beginning to twine his fingers through the long hair. Qui-Gon's eyes drifted shut in an attitude of relaxation, and Obi-Wan marveled that he did indeed feel protective in this position.

Qui-Gon chuckled. "It's nice, isn't it?"

Obi-Wan's hand stilled on Qui-Gon's brow, and his mind began twining around Qui-Gon's, also making sure to cover the entire bond. His hand slid to caress Qui-Gon's cheek, and he let his heart fill with all the compassion and value he felt Qui-Gon was worth. He heard Qui-Gon sigh comfortably.

"I feel the same way about you, Padawan," was Qui-Gon's quiet comment. "Now you must complete the renewal by merging with me. Currently, your mind holds mine as your arms hold me. But we need a fusion, not a separation. If it is done correctly, you will know."

Obi-Wan sent an experimental probe and encountered no resistance. But he frowned. "There's still delineation between us, but I worry that it will hurt you to get rid of it."

"But you're not getting rid of it. You are melding with it."

"That **is **getting rid of it."

"No. It's simply chemistry. A mixing of components to create something new. You and I will still be our own people. But we should be able to discern each other as easily as we feel ourselves, just as we are able to fight together as one unit."

The boy gasped, and suddenly, he understood. Everything clicked. Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan's mind quiet, felt the Force being pulled around them as though Obi-Wan were preparing for meditation, felt him achieve serenity. He heard Obi-Wan recite the Jedi Code, saw flashes of images when they'd moved in tandem during training and missions. And Qui-Gon did the same, meeting Obi-Wan in the Force and magnifying its presence. "Master. Let's train."

Qui-Gon flashed a rare, brilliant smile that lit up his eyes in joy. Up they leapt, lightsabers active, and Obi-Wan felt his own pulse and heard the Force sing. Obi-Wan let go and let his body go on autopilot, trusting now that Qui-Gon had things under control. He realized that at this moment, he felt only Qui-Gon, not himself. His body did what Qui-Gon's did, without his having to sense it. Through training katas they moved, and Obi-Wan felt the exhilaration of movements he could not yet achieve on his own. In a flash of insight, Obi-Wan took Qui-Gon's stone and threw it to him. Qui-Gon's hand shot out and closed around it, and at that moment, Obi-Wan felt a change in their bond. It was a part of them now, like the Force, not a temporary entity grafted on for the sake of efficiency on missions. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stopped simultaneously, deactivated their weapons, and Obi-Wan leapt into Qui-Gon's arms, eyes shining with joy. Qui-Gon held him close, and Obi-Wan was trying to squeeze him to death. Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon's rumbling chuckle, and somehow, he had the strange thought that he was home.

"Here, Padawan," Qui-Gon said gently, handing over the stone.

Obi-Wan cradled it against his heart, feeling its heat that somehow didn't burn. "Master, did you know this stone would be important to us?"

"No. But it was of great help to me for many years. I hoped it would serve you well. I did not dream at the time this is what it'd be used for, but the Force told me to give it to you."

"I knew there had to be more to it when you gave it. You wouldn't just give me something ordinary. But it's remarkable how unassuming it is. I have always cherished it, since it helped me to keep my memories. The fear of losing them prompted me to complete the ritual on becoming a Padawan as well, in case I never told you."

"I'm glad. I can always count on you to fulfill your responsibilities."

"I'd have thought something this precious would already have been given away. Not that I don't appreciate it, but if you didn't want to give it to me and only did so because you were told to, you should take it back."

"Pardon?" The tone was low, dangerous.

Obi-Wan swallowed convulsively and stepped back, looking up pleadingly. "You've had this stone for many years. It must be precious to you for you to have kept it since you were my age or nearly so. I can't imagine giving this away to anyone, especially not someone I didn't trust completely but had to give something in honor of a birthday."

Qui-Gon frowned darkly. "Did I not tell you my hope that it would be of use to you?" The tone was still threatening.

The boy nodded meekly. "Please, Master," he said softly, "I mean well. You can still use it."

"But it was given to you." Qui-Gon's tone was gentler, but still displeased.

Obi-Wan glanced at Qui-Gon, then walked over to his pack and put his forgotten datapad back inside and sat down by it. He put the stone back in his pocket. Qui-Gon came and sat beside him. "Obi-Wan, what are you asking? Why I didn't give it to Xanatos? Why I gave it to you if I didn't wish to give it to him? Do you perhaps wish to return the stone, but want to do so politely?"

"No! You gave it to me!" the boy cried without thinking. "Why did you not give it to him? And why don't you want it back?"

"Padawan, why did you not simply ask that?" Qui-Gon murmured wearily. "You'd have saved me a lot of heartache? How would you like a gift that meant a great deal to you thrown back at you, with the implication that really, it's not that great and honestly, you'd rather have had a crystal for your lightsaber or something? How would you feel if a gift given from the heart was returned?"

Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon and whimpered softly. "I...I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. Really. I love it."

Qui-Gon pulled Obi-Wan toward him, and he buried his head in Qui-Gon's robe. "Xanatos did not deserve a gift as rare as that stone. Truth be told, the thought never occurred to give it to him. He'd have scoffed or thrown it away in disgust, complaining that it was unworthy of him. When I gave you the stone, you were curious. Why would I give you something so ordinary? Unless, of course, it wasn't. You turned it so it caught the light, and you noted its beauty appreciatively. You promised to love it. Later, you understood better, and it has become something essential to you. You say you carry it everywhere?"

Obi-Wan nodded emphatically, then hid his face again.

"Make no mistake, little one. I want you to keep it, to have it. You deserve it. You deserve a gift that is equal to you as a person, as a Padawan. Your gentle heart, keen mind, raw talent, humble spirit, and your drive to be your very best is going to stand you in good stead for the rest of your life."

"Master, you honor me," the boy whispered in awe.

"Then I've returned the favor. Excellent." He released Obi-Wan with a gentle squeeze to his shoulder. Obi-Wan reached up and pulled Qui-Gon toward him, placing a quick kiss to his forehead. Qui-Gon smiled gently. "I love you, too."

Obi-Wan's face was radiant. "I didn't expect this when we came here. And now it's a day I won't forget."

"Shall we go home?"

"I'm already home. But yes, I'd like to see our rooms again."

"I'll lead this time."

"I hope you always will."


End file.
